The kitchen wasn’t how I left it.
Dirty dishes
Scattered crumbs
Left over chicken nuggets,
food scraps in the sink.
My little one not drying her hands,
dripping water on the kitchen floor,
footmarks, muddy paws,
hours after I reset and mopped the kitchen.
I said to him and them,
“You guys are a mess,
you guys suck,
you guys are a pain, a drain.”
I said to him like always,
“Remind me not to
give them anything,
buy them anything,
until they do their chores.”
I’m thinking to go wash the car,
do you know where my little yellow cloth is?
We couldn’t find it amongst the boxes of our move.
I left in the small car.
By the time I returned to them from Le Bouscat with
3 warm baguettes
6 croissants
Breakfast.
I made scrambled eggs,
runny for him,
well done for my girls.
He had croissants, crispy with marmalade,
warm baguette with ham,
hissing from me,
for crowding my way.
By the time I left the house again I said,
to my girls,
“Clean your rooms,
fold your laundry,
mop the kitchen floor.”
To him, “You, handle emails and bookkeeping.”
By the time I drove out of the car wash,
the car looked like new
except for the scratch in the door caused by him.
I had already said to him: “Watch for those low French street walls.”
He did not listen.
From Auchan in Le Bouscat I messaged him photos of
Faux Fillet,
Brasse Cote.
He replied:
“Brasse Cote is rib eye — we like rib eye.”
I called him,
“Do you mind coming to the driveway gate,
to get the shopping,
so I don’t need to get out of the car?”
By the time I got back to the gate, some idiot cut me off in a roundabout,
driving straight in the right-hand turn-off,
handed him the shopping bag, bursting,
carton bottom falling out.
I said, “You’re making rib-eye tonight.
There’s eggplant,
leftover potatoes,
peppers that need to be eaten.”
Left him at the gate and drove away.
By the time I returned with éclair and pastries,
I had coffee and ice cream at the patisserie by myself,
looked at houses for sale listings on my phone,
visited a garden centre, baulked at the prices,
returned with éclair and pastries,
called him,
“do you need anything,
do we need more baguettes,
more croissants for the weekend?”
He said: “three baguettes, five croissants.”
I said: "Three?"
He said: "OK, two baguettes, five croissants."
By the time I returned home with the agreed amount of bakery, I had added a selection of pastries for dessert.
Éclair,
Mille-feuille,
Raspberry tarts,
something bright, lemony for him.
I said: “I need to buy celery, what time will you have dinner ready?”
“8:30?”
I said, “ok,”
drove off again,
called him again,
“I just found Petra, walking near the house,
we’re going for a girls’ drive out,
if you don’t mind, we’ll be back for dinner,
bye.”
When we got back home I said to him:
“The car is spotless inside, outside.
If I had had q-tips,
I would have used those.
I used tissue paper instead.”
