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On dad jokes

He teaches them how to stay in play when the world goes flat.

By Lai Yin
On dad jokes
Photo by gaspar zaldo / Unsplash
Published:

Dad jokes are the worst jokes ever,
because they aren’t jokes.
And the only one laughing is him.

My girls and me all rolling our eyes.

Then he starts explaining the jokes
like they seriously had a punchline.

He’ll say, “Do you see what I just did there?”
The girls groan in anguish.

When we drive long distance, one of them will say,
“Dad, tell us another dad joke.”

That’s when I secretly well up.
Because I see a man willing to be a fool to teach my girls:

Presence.
How to handle awkwardness.
Cognitive judo.
Fearlessness in being seen.

Dad jokes are not funny.
They aren’t meant to be.

They are training.
They are signal.
They are rhythm and recovery.
He drops them,
they react,
he catches them.

He teaches them how to stay in play when the world goes flat.
That’s no joke.
Dad jokes are serious commitments
to fathering emotionally equipped grown-ups.

My daughter says she’s going to take a shower.

He says, ‘Okay baby, don’t forget to use water.’

She says, ‘Okay, Dad.’

That’s the whole point.

Play holds the world together

Why dad jokes work

Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory.
→ Humor and vocal play activate vagal tone and safety signaling.
When a father jokes, his tone, rhythm, and timing regulate the child’s nervous system.

Ruch, W., & Ekman, P. (2001). The Nature of Laughter. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B.
→ Shared laughter synchronizes breathing and heart rhythm, strengthening attachment and emotional flexibility.

Feldman, R. (2007). Parent–Infant Synchrony. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 16(6), 340–345.
→ Rhythmic exchange — even “nonsense” — trains anticipation, regulation, and trust.

Humor is not entertainment.
It’s nervous-system training.
Dad jokes teach resilience in real time.

Lai Yin

Lai Yin

She writes about marriage, motherhood, sex, and power. She lives in Europe with her husband and their three daughters.

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