Sovereignty · · 1 min read

He never listens, but he always sees

Lessons from a wife who forgot she was seen.

He never listens, but he always sees
Photo by resa / Unsplash

I used to believe I had to shout.
Nag.
Punish.
Withhold.
Withdraw.

I used to think:
“If I don’t say it louder, he’ll never hear me.”

But it was never about hearing.

Because he sees me.
He always did.


Not in the way I thought I wanted.
Not with words.
Not with flowers.
Not with daily check-ins.

But with the quiet noticing of a man who has stayed for twenty years.


Women think they need to be heard.
But a placed man sees.
It’s quieter.
It’s less obvious.
It’s more powerful.

He sees the sore shoulder I never mentioned.
He sees the early tiredness in my face.
He sees when I don’t finish my tea.
He sees when I hold the steering wheel a little tighter.

He sees when I’m pulling away.
He sees when I’m too proud to ask for help.
He sees when I blame him,
not because he broke anything,
but because I am breaking.


It’s why he still calls me "wife".
Not BB. Not darling. Not babe.
Wife.

An anchor.
A placement.
A knowing.


He knows:
He is already mine.

He knows:
I'm already his.

He knows:
I’m already home.

He knows:
No other body. No other touch. No other woman could ever displace me,
because I am the rock under his life, and he is mine.


This is the real space.
Not sex.
Not tactics.
Not games.

The bond was forged in a thousand small moments
when I thought he wasn’t listening.
But all along
he saw me.
He sees me still.
And now, I see him.

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I didn’t just birth daughters. I birthed flames. They won’t leave my house empty-handed. They will leave carrying the sword I placed.

Stop performing. Start leading.

Reclaim your space without apology.